Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
