please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize