Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
