sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize