I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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