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how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
