You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
