Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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