protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
