Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The air taste purple.
Randomize
