The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
