hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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