so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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