Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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