why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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