She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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