just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
