It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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