So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize