apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
