Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
