I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
