I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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