Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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