so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
