Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
