The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
