He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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