i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
