You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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