Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
