8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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