dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
