he puts the penis in happiness.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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