yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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