dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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