Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize