Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize