We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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