Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize