Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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