For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
