Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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