Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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