i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
