And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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