is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
