We won't sleep together?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
