dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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