I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
