Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
