Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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