Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
