we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
