We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
