how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
